Biting the bullet…

Warning – this is partly a Pity party, but the whining does have a point… eventually.

Asking for help is one of the hardest things in the world.

All my life, I was told not to ask for things, “You’ll get what you’re given and like it.” was a common refrain throughout my childhood from a variety of people; not just my parents.

I was taught that if I needed something, I should work for it myself. So I was working from the age of 12 3/4 years old.

Yes, that was technically illegal, I didn’t care and my employer didn’t either.

I sampled lots of menial jobs in my early working life. I was a Chambermaid, a Market Seller, a Paper Girl, a Waitress, a Bar Steward, sold Fish’n’Chips, broke up fights, drifted into sleep doing data entry, tried to sell double glazing, sold computer games, tried to help people with their digital TV…

I got up early and stayed up late in pursuit of the money to be able to live in the way I wanted. I often didn’t have the money to eat from those jobs – I only just made my half of the rent a lot of the time.

It was irritating.

I earned enough (with my partner’s income as well) to be ineligible for any Govt. help (there was no such thing as Working Tax Credit then) and we ate  pasta and ketchup way too much. I already had a degree, but it was useless for almost everything I tried to apply for.

So I took a PGCE in the hope that becoming a Teacher. I passed (it was difficult) and got a NQT job to finish my training. I passed that and got a full time teaching job. Which ended a year later.

 

Ah well, there’s always supply work. I thought to myself when I tried and failed to get another full time or part time teaching job.

HAH!

I joined agency after agency. I got very little work and was told that it was because I couldn’t drive. But I couldn’t afford to learn to drive… so I was in a Catch 22 situation.

By now, I had two children to support and my partner was driving over two hundred miles a day, just to keep us in the house we were in…

Fast forward to today.

The Kids

The Kids

This is my family. My partner has been diagnosed as Aspergers. NOS has been trying to cope with both Aspergers and High School for over two years. And we have the wonderfully entertaining Princess Wriggles to enjoy.

We’re still in the same house. That’s right. 3 Kids, two adults and all the attendant stuff in a small 3 bedroom house. Just about liveable… or it would be if it weren’t for the state of the roof and the plumbing (but that’s another story).
We’d planned to put the baby into the same room as PT when she turned a year old. We didn’t count on PT possibly being Aspergers as well.

What is Aspergers?

“As soon as we meet a person we make judgements about them. From their facial expression, tone of voice and body language we can usually tell whether they are happy, angry or sad and respond accordingly.

People with Asperger syndrome can find it harder to read the signals that most of us take for granted. This means they find it more difficult to communicate and interact with others which can lead to high levels of anxiety and confusion.” – From The National Autistic Society

One of the things that those with Aspergers need is a safe, secure and above all, calming environment to recharge and relax.
Dealing with the outside world causes all sorts of problems. While an adult can find a quiet place to calm down while they’re out and about, a child can’t. Add the school environment to their daily routine and you have daily sensory overload.
So a quiet bedroom / private space is essential to their well being.

We have the space for NOS to have this. The only way we can give PT the same space and give ourselves space (TOH really needs a private space) as well, is to put the baby in our room and sleep in the living room.

Not an ideal situation, more of a last resort.

So why don’t you move?

And here is where the earlier whining is relevant. I haven’t been able to return to teaching since I lost my job. I’ve updated my qualifications and still not been able to get a job. TOH is in the midst of changing career and while he has a part time job at the moment, it’s not an ideal long term solution as it’s only temporary.

We are reliant on Benefits to help us live day to day. There is very little spare cash and what spare cash there is goes on clothes or shoes etc. We’ve not been able to save up the money we need to move.
The deposit, the rent in advance, the moving costs – when I’ve figured it up, we’d need about £3,500 to be able to do it. And every time I manage to save money, it flies out the door again on the wings of an emergency / unforeseen bill.

I’m forced to ask for help.

None of my immediate family can help – they’re in similar straits. We can’t get a Bank loan big enough because we don’t have a big enough income or full time jobs – the banks are suddenly feeling responsible!

So the only thing left (other than sleeping on the sofa) is to ask for help generally.

I’ve started a GoFundMe campaign to this end. If you feel like donating money to help our family move to a more suitable house, then feel free to click on this link – House Move  - and donate whatever you feel you can afford.
There’s no time limit to the campaign and I’ll keep it open until either we get the amount we need, or we get kicked out of the house we are in (not as far fetched a prospect as you might think.)

If you feel uneasy about donating to a complete stranger (and believe me, I understand!) then look up my books (under Kira Morgana or A. E. Churchyard) and buy a copy or two – any sales from my work will be put aside to add to the Moving Fund.

If you don’t want to do either of those, then I won’t be upset – I realise it is a difficult world out there and there are people who are worse off than we are. If you want to support the campaign emotionally / promotionally, then feel free to tweet nice things about it and/or share it on FB.

I realise that this is a bit of a pipe dream.

However, I’ve already had four lovely, wonderful people donate to the campaign already, meaning it isn’t as much of a dream as it was.

So there you have it. I’ve bit the bullet and asked for help.

Having a Bad Writing Day…

I don’t understand it. 

It’s a beautiful sunny day. That alone will get me enthusiastic about writing most days…

sunny day

It’s peaceful. The baby may not be asleep, but she’s happy and playing without needing me…

I have three WIP queues to deal with. Formatting has one in it, Editing has four in it and Writing has fifteen in it. A total of twenty books / stories with claims on my time…

That’s without TTATE though – my editor (ooh, I love writing that) is on holiday and we can’t start that process without her, so that’s six books to go into the Editing queue…

Have you ever had one of those days where, no matter what you try, the words just don’t want to form in your mind or you can’t decide what to do?

I thought you might.

Yup, that’s what happening to me. It’s a Bad Writing Day.

Normally I would just pick up my knitting or get my beads out… but when I turned to do just that, this confronted me:

crafting area 10th sept 2014

so first I have to tidy up… and that is probably going to take all day…
Sighs
But it has to be done… as does the washing up… and the washing needs to go on the line.
Hmmm. Maybe it’s a Bad Writing Day, but a Good House Cleaning Day?NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I don’t believe it. It cannot be true…

but still…
Oh, all right…
Don’t worry. Maybe tomorrow will be a better Writing Day than today.

Special limited time offer for Away With The Fairies

Kira Morgana:

Support a fellow Indie Author and pick up one of her wonderful books!

Go on… I dare ya!

Originally posted on Zen and the art of tightrope walking:

For a limited time only, Away With The Fairies will be on offer at first 99p then going up to £1.99 before returning to its normal price of £3.08. UK only.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Away-Fairies-Vivienne-Tuffnell-ebook/dp/B005RDS02A/ref=la_B00766135C_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410250853&sr=1-2

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Fan Fiction Fun… and some Good News!

You may have noticed that I’ve added a new section to the Free Stuff to Read called Morning Rituals.

I had a bit of a word drought recently. The ideas were there, but the words just wouldn’t do what I told them to do.  So as I normally do, I picked up my knitting needles and added a few rounds to the jumper I am knitting GIL.

My first thought was to  take one of the WIP’s I am working on and print them out, chapter by chapter, look carefully at them and then improve them. That idea got scuppered when I realised I only had enough ink in the printer for another 100 pages and the WIP was over three hundred!

So I printed out “Statues of Justice”.

It hasn’t been selling very well recently, so I’d taken it down with the idea of seeing what I could do to improve the story.

I started going through with a green pen, adding comments about changes and generally sorting out what was bad. By the time I got to the end of the first page, the printed word had been obscured by the pen.

Whoops.

So I scribbled rewrite on the top and started out on that.

Then this morning, unable to knit because my wrists were hurting and doubly unable to rewrite because I just couldn’t face the amount of work it was turning into, I jumped into the shower.

No, that’s not my shower, I wish it were, but I only have an ordinary one…

I did all the things I usually do in the shower and as I was watching my hair spider its way down to the plug hole, I had a brainwave.

TOH was playing Batman: Arkham Asylum downstairs and he was engaged in chasing Harley Quinn around the mansion. Harley has always been one of my favourite villainesses. I love her outfits – so casual, carefree, practical and fun – so much like her attitude to life. So I thought I’d do a piece about Harley.

As I was in the shower when I thought of it, I thought Harley’s morning routine would be an interesting angle to go for, so  I started writing.

As I was writing, I decided that I’d do the same to a few other characters I like. Not necessarily all Batman, just characters that I liked, from TV, Comics… anywhere really. I’ll be posting them under the same heading if you want to keep up with them!

* * * *

Now for the News.

The Tower and The Eye Series has been picked up by Blue Hour Publishing.

This is why it is being taken off of sale, in preparation for an extensive editing and adjusting process (should my new editor feel they need them) before being re-released!

So watch out for more news on this process!

 

100 Days to be Happy: Music

If music be the food of love, play on;

Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken, and so die.

That strain again! it had a dying fall:

O, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound,

That breathes upon a bank of violets,

Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:

‘Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,

That, notwithstanding thy capacity

Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,

Of what validity and pitch soe’er,

But falls into abatement and low price,

Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy

That it alone is high fantastical.

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare – http://shakespeare.mit.edu/twelfth_night/full.html

 

Music is all around us, it guides and comforts us… and this is my thought for today – do we create music or does it create us?

TEN Reasons Why Numbered Posts Are So Yesterday

Kira Morgana:

hmmm – I never really thought about that…

Originally posted on Blogdramedy:

Who doesn’t love making a list then ticking it off, or as I like to do, getting out a ruler and drawing a nice, neat line right through the middle. Twice.

But when did numbered lists become the Miley of blog posts? Over the past year, numbered lists have become the itemized notes de jour of online media.

Everywhere you go, someone’s put together a “Reasons Why” or “How To” or “Must Have” list that features numbers. It’s like they’re saying you’re a bad person if reading 106 ways to flambé a chicken is not the most important thing you’ll do all day.

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